I remember whose daughter I am and I straighten my crown

I remember whose daughter I am and I straighten my crown ... 

That sentence means more to me then most people would know.  I was blessed with a phenomenal Mom. She was clearly one of a kind. 

 My mother, Linda, only had two kids biologically but she welcomed every friend that my brother and I had into our home and treated them just like she did either of us.  She would fuss at them if they did wrong and praise them unconditionally when they did the right thing. I can remember when we where kids, a lady at our local gas station asked me one day how many kids my mom had .. I gave her a puzzled look, and said "two, my brother and I .. Why?  She said  "because every time she comes in here there are 3 or 4 different kids with her."  I then explained that Joey and I always had friends staying over. 

My relationship with my Mother was definitely not perfect.  She and I had more then a few moments where we didn't get along when I was going through that "horrible teenage phase".  She made sure to remind me during that time that she was there to be my parent and not my friend. She always said we would become friends later on in life.  I don't know if she ever realized how true that statement would become. 

I was a bratty kid. I had moments when I don't know how Mom and Dad put up with my bullshit. I would lie and try to sneak around but without fail I got caught.  Mom always knew what I was doing, no matter what it was.  I can remember a night when I was suppose to be staying at one friends house but we went to another friends.  When we got there I decided I was going to go out with my then boyfriend. Well he picked me up and we went cruising through town for a bit, then went to see my Uncle for a little while.  On our way back to the house, several friends met us at an intersection near my friends house and said that my Mom and Dad were there looking for me.  Apparently they told my Mom I was in the shower and would be out in a few.,  Needless to say I hopped a fence, was pulled through a window, jumped quickly into the shower, dried off and headed out to talk to Mom.  The look on her face told me everything I needed to know. (I didn't find out till later that she had been there waiting for about 20 minutes. Remember, we didn't have cell phones or social media back in the "dark ages")   She KNEW that I had been somewhere I wasn't suppose to be and I was about to be killed.  I tried to lie but yeah there really wasn't a point in that and she told me quickly to get in the car. Needless to say I was grounded for what felt like FOREVER.  I also wasn't the brightest crayon in the box and kept trying .. unsuccessfully I might add to deceive my parents.  It never worked. 

When I had my first child at the age of 25, I can remember calling my Mom up at 2am to apologize for all the shit I put her and my dad through.  She spent the next hour on the phone with me reminding me how much she loved me. I was her baby girl and I always would be no matter how horrible I was growing up.  Mom became my best friend. I literally told her everything. She and I didn't always agree with the choices that I made but she let me make them .. She allowed me to screw up but she was always there to help me put the pieces back together again.  My goal in life is to become at least half of the mother she was ... If I can accomplish that then I will know that I have become the best possible mother I can be.  

I will always be there for each and every one of my children. But until they are grown, I will be their parent and NOT their friend.  Someone must teach them respect, responsibility, caring, manners, how to love unconditionally and how to be a functioning member of society without being a whiny asshole.  That is my job. That is the job that I have chosen. That is the job that I love.  

I thank my Mom and Dad for instilling manners, respect and responsibility in me.  Without the loving and devoted parents they were I would not have become the person I am today. They are both truly missed. 

  

Linda Cochran

1950-2012